I'm back, bitches!

Yeah, welcome to my blog where immaturity knows no limits and grammar is a Fremdwort! This won't be a blog showing off my football knowledge! (Although you can expect a tactical analysis every now and then..) NO! I will use this place for all my rants, ramblings and petty crying after Dortmund losses.

The winter break is finally over and there are a lot of questions to be answered!
When will Mario Götze and Marco Reus adopt their first baby?

Will Bayern München win the championship, like they should because of all their fucking money, or will double agent 009 Sammer find a way to sabotage such repugnant things?

Rumor has it that Agent Sammer switched sides in September, during the October fest (yes, I don't get this either) because he succumbed the lure of wearing leather pants. In that case we can expect a cloudy afternoon with slight rain and a chance of pianos. Traitor.



Will Hoffenheim get relegated after a defeat on the last match day against us?
And will Dietmar Hopp give up  his 'project' after Wolfgang Holzhäuser and Javier Garcia Sanz crashed into the Hoffenheim team bus with the new VW Golf after a long night in Sandhausen with booze, hookers and Aspirin? And will we then find the SAP Arena, or whatever it's called, look like a building from 'population zero' in 5 years from now?


Does Tim Wieses tan match his champions League ambitions?


How many rebound ̶g̶̶i̶̶r̶̶l̶̶s̶ goals will Rafael Van der Vaart score after his break up with Sylvie?

And how deep will Schalke fall after they ignited the "We want to win the championship" backwards-afterburner?

Questions over questions that will be answered in accompaniment of Marcel Reif and Fritz von Turn und Taxis. (Two German football commentators I absolutely hate because they will always find a way to ruin every great game of football.)


What is green and smells like fish? Werder Bremen!


Sorry, fish heads, that was rude. (love ya, xoxo)

After Hannover kick off the Rückrunde against some insignificant club on Friday night
plus some other boring matches I don't wanna talk about on Saturday afternoon it is finally time for the MAIN EVENT.
Borussia Dortmund grace the Bundesliga pitch in Bremen for the first time this year. 18:30 kick off in the Topspiel. Yehaw.


Key facts: 

- Dortmund worked on their defensive tactics during the winter, so you'll be judged by the amount of goals we concede, Kloppo!

- Nuri Sahin is back! Yeah, I almost forgot to mention that. Will he play? I don't know!

- Leverkusen vs. Frankfurt, so 3 points would be nice.

- Kevin Großkreutz scored a penalty! I still find that remarkable.

Probable line up: Weidenfeller - Piszczek, Santana, Hummels, Schmelzer - Bender, Gündogan - Reus, Götze, Blazszcykowski - Lewandowski

Heja BVB!